Get Your Party On in the Motor City!

Now that we know what teams will be playing for the National Football League's coveted trophy, the teams are the Seattle Sehawks-goin' to the SB for the very first time versus the Pittsburgh Steelers-they've been there and done that (Have you ever heard of a 4-1 record for the Super Bowl???)... the cash and those oh so fabulous rings, we've got to check out the parties in Detroit beginning next week.

First there's the Salute to Detroit party. That's on Monday,January 30, 2006 at the Fox Theatre, in downtown Detroit from 6:00 pm to 9:00 pm. It's a benefit show. The cheap seats in the nose bleed section are $125 - $1,500 per person for the really good seats.

Proceeds from the program will benefit The Greater Detroit Charitable Foundation, the charitable arm of the Detroit Super Bowl XL Host Committee.

ABC/ESPN broadcaster Mike Tirico, will be the master of ceremonies who will be in charge of a program filled with some the city's finest entertainers, a tribute to the Detroit automakers, 40 moments that define Detroit sports, appearances by sports legends who hail from Detroit and the current NFL Commissioner Paul Tagliabue. A local television station plans to add to the excitement with a “green carpet special” live from the Fox Theatre.

Wow! I wonder what's on the agenda for Tuesday night?? Ice skating or dog sledding anyone??

Tom Tom...

Tom Hanks and Tom Cruise in the news. Here's Clark Dark with a report.

Tom Cruise has made it abundantly clear to the executives at Paramount, who are associated with the animated televison program South Park, that he does not find any humor in the episode which aired in the US last year and was scheduled to be broadcast in the United Kingdom this month. He's threatened a lawsuit in England. It's the episode entitled "Trapped in the Closet" where a cartoon Tom Cruise is depicted as being coaxed out of the closet by his carton wife and, Nicole Kidman, and his cartoon fellow Scientologist friend John Travolta. The program as of this writing will not be broadcast again, anywhere.

Meanwhile another Tom...Tom Hanks, that is, America's favorite everyman has been named America's favorite movie star for the second year in a row. In a nationwide Harris Poll, as reported by E!Online, the two-time Oscar winner topped the list, for the third time as the top silver screen pick in the annual poll. Critics say this is a particular feat, because Hanks did not release any new films in 2005. His last big-screen release was in 2004-The Polar Express.
Noticeably absent from this year's list were stars,like frequent rankers Tom Cruise, Denzel Washington and Brad Pitt. Johnny Depp placed second in the national Harris Poll.

Here's the Top 10: Hanks, and Depp,of course as previously mentioned, followed by Harrison Ford, John Wayne, Julia Roberts, Clint Eastwood, Mel Gibson, George Clooney, Sean Connery and Sandra Bullock.

This Just In...

Here's Clark Dark, YOUTHINKWHATdotCOM's entertainment correspondent. Clark.

Thanks You. During the past week a report has surfaced regarding more allegedly unlady-like behavior by that hotel heiress of renown, Paris Hilton.

Harden Jamison drives a taxicab on Maui, Hawaii. He tells the tabloid National Enquirer the hotel heiress and Simple Life television star was too drunk to notice she'd wet herself when he picked her and boyfriend Stavros Niarchos up after a party last year.

The grossed out cab driver claims he mopped up the mess with a towel and plans to use Hilton's own DNA as evidence against her.

Paris Hilton's publicists are trying to silence Jamison, a Hawaiian taxi-driver, who claims the socialite urinated in his cab.

The cabbie has gone public with his story after he says he was threatened by Hilton's heavies, who hitched a ride in his cab, after making it known that he has a towel drenched with the socialite's urine.

According to Jamison, "They were all drunk and abusive. I kicked them out and flagged down a cop." He even claims one of Hilton's pals offered him $200 for the towel.

A spokesman for the socialite denies the incident.

I'm Clark Dark, for YOUTHINKWHATdotCOM.

Too Little, Too Late

New York Senator, and former First Lady Hillary Clinton; former Democratic presidential candidate,former Vice President of the United States for eight years under Bill Clinton, and former senator from Tennessee, Al Gore, Jr., and the current mayor of New Orleans, the (dis) honorable Ray Nagin are the recipients of the YOUTHINKWHATdotCOM "Where Were You When We Needed You to Speak Sincerely About What's Wrong" Award.

First MS Rodham-Clinton, who is by the way looking more and more Republican as her term in the US Senate wears on. You say the US House of Representatives is run like a plantation? I haven't heard a peep out of you with regard to the issue of domestic spying? What say you Ms Clinton??

Next is VP Gore. So now, Al, you've not only a backbone, but a voice, too? I suppose the next thing I'll hear is John Kerry speaking up. Really Senator, perhaps you should visit your local hospital or tattoo parlor to have the yellow streak removed from your back.

Speaking of yellow, Ray Nagin comes to mind. Here's a man who cussed out the Presdent of the United States on a local New Orleans radio program during the hurricane Katrina debacle, only to be taken to the wood shed like any errant slave should be when he speaks out against the master so the whole entire world hears his negative critique. Then he and the president make nice. GWB tells Ray to form a committee to rebuild, restore New Orleans without the flava, or as little of the flava as before. The former residents are critical of the committees suggestions. So on Martin Luther King's Birthday holiday, Ray decides to be the militant brother that some people think he ought to be, by stating that "New Orleans will return as a Chocolate City". What a fairy tale that is! Watch out, Ray! De masa gwine heerd yo' sayin' dem willful things and yo' gwine be in trouble...agin!

TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE! Better to remain silent and thought a fool than to speak up and remove all doubt. That's sound advice, I'd say.

Remembering Martin

These are the not often quoted words of the late
Rev. Dr. MARTIN LUTHER KING, Jr., whose
birthday we celebrate today:

America is deeply racist and its democracy is flawed both economically and socially.... the black revolution is much more than a struggle for the rights of Negroes. It is forcing America to face all its interrelated flaws- racism, poverty, militarism and materialism. It is exposing evils that are rooted deeply in the whole structure of our society. It reveals systemic rather than superfical flaws and suggests that radical reconstruction of society itself is the real issue to be faced.

We are engaged in the class struggle.

We must recognize that we can't solve our problems now until there is a radical redistribution of economic and political power.

A Billion Little Lies

James Frey, the author of the memoir entitled, "A Million LIttle Pieces" and the sequel to his tale of addiction and incarceration, "My Friend Leonard", is being roundly criticized for possible exaggeration of his life experiences. This onslaught of condemnation is being led by none other than the investigative reporters at the web site The Smoking Gun. (As you may know Smoking Gun is an Internet arm of Court Television.)

I say, "What's the big fat deal here?" So he used a little puffery to tell his story. Frey's recollection of the events he describes in his memoir may not be exactly as others recall. There probably are no court records to substantiate what he says about arrests and jail time served. Even Oprah Winfrey, who endorsed his writing by making his book her internationally acclaimed book club's selection, despite it's earthy language and seemy subject, says,

"What is relevant is that he was a drug addict ... and stepped out of that history to be the man he is today and to take that message to save other people and allow them to save themselves,"

In the land where capitalist ventures are admired and reality is tossed to the side, the man is a resounding success. Nearly 2 million copies of his books have been sold by the publisher, Random House. As reported by the Smoking Gun Frey enjoys the status of a literary rock-star, and "a $2.55 million Manhattan apartment, an Amagansett summer house, and first-class travel." So what's the problem.

What is the big deal, here? The American public gets told lies everyday. I'll show you what I mean:

Using (Product brand name goes here)___________ will make you more (You get to fill in the blank here. Examples would be: attractive, sexy, intelligent, etc) ____________.

Sadaam Hussein has weapons of mass destruction. That's why we must invade his sovereign nation.

I can't come into the office today. I have the flu.

Tom DeLay is innocent of any wrong doing.

My dog ate my homework.

"I'm a uniter, not a divider." President George Bush.

The check is in the mail.

The 12 miners in West Virginia are alive and well.

Nine out of ten doctors reccomend (insert product brand name here) ____________ for relief of (insert malady here)_________________________.

George Bush is fiscally conservative. He wants to make government smaller. That's why he's the biggest spender in the history of the country.

Of course,I'll respect you in the morning.

Osama Bin Laden is responsible for the attack on the United States on September 11, 2001.

You can't live without owning (place name of the latest gadget or fashion trend here)_______________.

The category 5 hurricane, Katrina, which struct New Orleans, broke the levees and is the cause of the flooding.

No, that dress does not make you look fat.

That's a sampling of the "Billion Little Lies" we hear daily.

We like our television programs "reality based". We like our news and current events fabricated. That's the kind of world in which we live.

Funeral for Lou Rawls Set for Friday, January 13

Funeral services for the Grammy Award winning, United Negro College Fund fundraising Chicago choir-boy turned professional singer, Lou Rawls is scheduled for tomorrow.

Lou Rawls, the velvet-voiced performer known by tunes such as You'll Never Find Another Love Like Mine and Lady Love died of cancer last week.

SOLD

Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey have sold their famous newlywed house to Justin "Reese" Berfield, the 19-year-old star of "Malcolm in the Middle". According to tabloid televsion program "Access Hollywod", the property was sold just five days after it was listed with the asking price of $3.75 million.

Please Lower the Price

This story reported in today's edition of the San Jose Mercury:

Patrons at a Starbucks in San Francisco almost got an afternoon jolt Monday -- but police defused a makeshift bomb in the bathroom without causing any harm.

About 1:15 p.m., an employee at the store, 1401 Van Ness Ave., found a "suspicious device" in the unisex bathroom and called police.

When the bomb squad unit arrived, officers determined the device was an explosive and evacuated nearly 100 people from the coffee shop and a multi-unit apartment complex above it.

The device was disabled an hour later, San Francisco police Sgt. Neville Gittens said. "If it had gone off, it could have caused serious damage and injury," Gittens said.(Emphasis added.)

We're happy to know there were no injuries. But have you ever had coffee at Starbucks? We have. Did you know they have pricing for coffee that is out of this world? Do you know there is a special language that one must use in order to buy a cup of coffee at Starbucks? There's something about ordering "just a cup of coffee" at Starbucks that makes me feel utterly stupid! What happened to small, medium, and large? What happened to with or without cream and sugar? Why must I order "tall"? What is a frappe? Why must I pay so much for coffee at Starbucks? Do I sound "unsophisterated"-- rube-like? Well when it comes to ordering and paying for "just a cup of coffee" I prefer to simplify my java.

I think the message in the explosive device being placed in the restroom of the store is quite simple. Drop all the pretense. Drop the affectations. DROP THE PRICE FOR A CUP OF COFFEE!

Dead?

Now just imagine instead of a parrot there were a canary in that joke. Miners use canaries to indicate if the environment of the mine is safe. They were used to test the air quality in the mine shaft. The following is excerpted from Environmental Education for Kids:

In the 1800s, (as today in the 21st century), few jobs were harder or more dangerous than working as an underground coal miner. Over the years, thousands of men, women, and even children were killed in mine accidents. One common cause of the accidents was a build-up of dangerous gases like methane and carbon monoxide in the mine shafts. Large amounts of these gases could lead to violent explosions. Methane and carbon monoxide have no color and no odor. The miners of the 1800s didn’t have the special equipment scientists have today to measure chemicals in the air, so it was impossible to tell if the gases were building up to dangerous levels. Miners started to use canaries to test the air quality in the mines. Canaries are very sensitive to carbon monoxide. The canaries would chirp and sing and make noise all day long. But, if the carbon monoxide levels got too high, the canaries would have trouble breathing, and maybe even die. When the canaries were no longer singing, miners would know that the gas levels were too high. They would leave the mine quickly to avoid being caught in an explosion. This is how canaries acted as a warning system for miners.

Imagine the mining company officials as the pet shop owner and the miners' families as the customer.

What is going on in the news? Move over Eyewitness NEWS executives. Sit down ActioNEWS managers.The once reliable, and accurate American news media is now providing "NEWS to Confuse". The news organizations have resorted to making up stories, and we sit mesmerized by female anchors who all look alike, and pretty male anchors who all look alike and they all tell us things that we can not believe, but the suspension of our disbelief has gone on for years now. We're paralyzed. We don't know how to respond anymore. Most of us are numb.

What? A Dead Parrot?

You have to wonder about the news lately. The miners are alive and well. The miners are dead. It reminds me of a joke. It’s a kind of morbid joke, but it suits the situation.

Customer: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.
(The owner does not respond.)
C: 'Ello, Miss?
Owner: What do you mean "miss"?
C: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!
O: We're closin' for lunch.
C: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
O: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?
C: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!
O: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.
C: Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.
O: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!
C: The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.
O: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!

(continued...)

What! A Dead Parrot? (continued)

C: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up!
(shouting at the cage)
'Ello, Mister Polly Parrot! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if you show...
(owner hits the cage)
O: There, he moved!
C: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage!
O: I never!!
C: Yes, you did!
O: I never, never did anything...
C: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO POLLY!!!!!

Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!
(Takes parrot out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter.
Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)
C: Now that's what I call a dead parrot.
O: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!
C: STUNNED?!?

O: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Norwegian Blues stun easily, major.
C: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.
O: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.
C: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, Look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?
O: The Norwegian Blue prefers kippin' on it's back! Remarkable bird, id'nit, squire?
Lovely plumage!
C: Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place
was that it had been NAILED there.
(pause)
O: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and VOOM! Feeweeweewee!
C: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!
O: No no! 'E's pining!
C: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more!
He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker!
'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch --'e'd be pushing up the daisies!'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig!'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!!THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!
(pause)
O: Well, I'd better replace it, then.
(he takes a quick peek behind the counter)
O: Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop,
and uh, we're right out of parrots.
C: I see. I see. I get the picture.
O: I got a slug.
(pause)
C: (sweet as sugar) Pray, does it talk?
O: Nnnnot really.
C: WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?
O: Look, if you go to my brother's pet shop in Bolton, he'll replace the parrot for you.
C: Bolton, eh? Very well.
The customer leaves.

What a Dead Parrot?(continued)

The customer enters the same pet shop. The owner is putting on a false moustache.C: This is Bolton, is it?
O: (with a fake mustache) No, it's Ipswitch.
C: (looking at the camera) That's inter-city rail for you.
The customer goes to the train station.
He addresses a man standing behind a desk marked "Complaints".
C: I wish to complain, British-Railways Person.
Attendant: I DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS JOB, YOU KNOW!!!
C: I beg your pardon...?
A: I'm a qualified brain surgeon! I only do this job because I like being my own boss!
C: Excuse me, this is irrelevant, isn't it?
A: Yeah, well it's not easy to pad these python files out to 200 lines, you know.
C: Well, I wish to complain. I got on the Bolton train and
found myself deposited here in Ipswitch.
A: No, this is Bolton.
C: (to the camera) The pet shop man's brother was lying!!
A: Can't blame British Rail for that.
C: In that case, I shall return to the pet shop!
He does.
C: I understand this IS Bolton.
O: (still with the fake mustache) Yes?
C: You told me it was Ipswitch!
O: ...It was a pun.
C: (pause) A PUN?!?
O: No, no...not a pun...What's that thing that spells
the same backwards as forwards?
C: (Long pause) A palindrome...?
O: Yeah, that's it!
C: It's not a palindrome! The palindrome of "Bolton" would be "Notlob"!!
It don't work!!
O: Well, what do you want?

C: I'm not prepared to pursue my line of inquiry any longer as I think this is getting too silly!

Sergeant-Major: Quite agree, quite agree, too silly, far too silly...

Difference of Opinion

God bless, America! I'm so glad we can freely express our opinions. We are very fortunate to be able to exchange differing ideas--even with those who express their opinions and thoughts with vitriolic gusto!

12 miners died in a West Virginia coal mine explosion. How unfortunate. We extend prayers and condolences to the families and friends of those workers who died.

There is one survivor who remains hospitalized. We pray for his recovery.

We are grateful for the work done by the rescue teams who were dispatched to attempt to save the mine workers.

Some "always-right-wing" bloggers are predicting that President Bush will be blamed for this disasterous event. Let's not jump to hasty conclusions with this kind of pre-emptive attempt at spinning responsibility for regulations which protect workers. I guess the reduction in the number of Mine Safety Agency inspectors over the past five years isn't the fault of a Republican president or Republican congress. Oh, well if the shoe fits....

George Bush: A President Who Is Listening

New revelations about the NSA's eavesdropping on Americans' calls inside the US and outside the US... before the White House formally authorized a secret program to spy on U.S. citizens without obtaining warrants, such eavesdropping was occurring and some of the information was being shared with the FBI. This news comes from declassified correspondence and interviews with congressional and intelligence officials.

We want to know:

if this TOP SECRET NSA operation was so necessary why was the US Attorney General, at the time John Ashcroft, reluctant to sign off on such an operation?(That he was asked to approve such a measure when recovering from gall bladder surgery not withstanding.)

why were such measures necessary when there exists in the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act(FISA) the tools to conduct the kind of surveillance the administration says it must perform in order to continue its "illusion" of keeping Americans secure from terror acts?

is it because the Act sets limits on electronic surveillance, and created a secret court within the Department of Justice - the FISA Court -- that could, within these limits, grant law enforcement's requests to engage in electronic surveillance?(In other words-spy now-gather evidence, justify later in the request for the warrant. The law allows the government to do that.)

The perception is the Bush administration wants to continue to conduct illegal spying activity without putting forth any justification, verification, or substantiation the subjects of domestic surveillance are, in fact, a threat to our national security. This fact has been aggressively promoted by our president. He is more aggressive in touting his "powers inherent to the office" than anyother president--even more than Richard Nixon.

Some say the disclosre of the adminstration's spying on citizens is a breach of security; others say it was a job well done by a government whistleblower. No matter which it is, there is no doubt there are some disgruntled individuals who are former or currently members of the professional foreign service, and intelligence communities who are disssatisfied with the way George Bush has blamed their agency for his administration's failings concerning WMD intelligence in Iraq.

Why George Walker Bush Should Resign-Part 4

The following post is in response to a dialogue begun between the administrator of this site and an erudite visitor who comments on opinions seen here at YouThinkWhatdotcom

We clearly do not have an imminent danger from Iraq that we need to respond within ten minutes.

The one time we needed to respond in ten minutes, we actually had as long as ninety minutes, we still did not have the executive decision making capability necessary to make these critical “not even split second” security decisions. This administration bears full responsibility for that. And one day in the future will be called to account for it, though likely not in this Republican house dominated term.

It is almost laughable that we have an administration that justifies the necessity of acting without hesitation when it concerns phone calls, while justifying slow response and entire lack of action in regards to rogue jets flying through our skies.At any other time a president who failed to respond to rogue jets in this fashion would be investigated or at least calling for an investigation into the failure of security, the failure of NORAD. What was the length of time previously estimated we would have to respond to a Soviet missile attack? Seems to me it was something like 6 or 7 minutes. But George can’t even muster an adequate response in 90.

We invaded Iraq under the pretense Iraq had nuclear weapons of which it has clearly been demonstrated Iraq had none. There are many countries that have nuclear weapons. In 1969 or 1970 an undergrad student made one at Harvard or Yale, one of the larger universities, from what he said was freely available information, so it is not so difficult to do. What is more critical, at least, is the need for a delivery system. There are few countries in the world that have missiles capable of reaching the United States. and the only country that might soon have such a missile, that is not an ally, is North Korea. But if they launch missiles and it takes us 90 minutes to respond, well it just might be too late.

Why George Walker Bush Should Resign-Part 3

The following post is in response to a dialogue begun between the administrator of this site and an erudite visitor who comments on opinions seen here at YouThinkWhatdotcom

It is questionable whether the method GWB used/is using to spy on citizens of the United States is necessary even in times of war, since other measures have been put in place by the Congress to allow such surveillance as long as it is monitored. (Following RMN’s resignation Senator Frank Church chaired a committee that investigated the uses and abuses of the intelligence derived from the wiretaps. From his report on electronic surveillance, emerged the proposal to create the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act (FISA). The Act both set limits on electronic surveillance, and created a secret court within the Department of Justice - the FISA Court -- that could, within these limits, grant law enforcement's requests to engage in electronic surveillance.)

Why George Walker Bush Should Resign-Part 2

The following post is in response to a dialogue begun between the administrator of this site and an erudite visitor who comments on opinions seen here at YouThinkWhatdotcom

We are now calling Iraq a war, because it dignifies our aggression over there. We still refuse to call the enemy combatants prisoners of war, because we have decided there is no official military opposition in Iraq. If there is no military opposition in Iraq then what we have is citizens of Iraq resisting what they consider an illegal occupation. (Is there any sovereign nation that considers occupation by another nation to be legal?)
So which is it? Is it war or occupation? If it is war then the captives must be prisoners of war, and logically we in the US should be in danger from Iraq. However, if it is an occupation then we in the US are not in danger in the US from Iraqis. We clearly are not in danger of the Iraqis mounting an attack here in the United States. We are in danger in Iraq as long as we continue to occupy Iraq. There is no imminent danger in the US.

Therefore, there is no need for extreme measures i.e., spying on one’s own citizens as might be argued in a time of a war of defense, rather than a war of aggression.

Why George Walker Bush Should Resign

The following post is in response to a dialogue begun between the administrator of this site and an erudite visitor who comments on opinions seen here at YouThinkWhatdotcom.

Firstly, the illegal act I speak of is the surveillance of citizens without the required warrant, which can be obtained when necessary after the fact. Some experts, who just happen to be Republican experts, say George Walker Bush’s wiretaps are as illegal as Richard Milhouse Nixon’s. In fact these same Republicans say GWB’s wiretap offenses are as impeachable as RMN’s.

Secondly, are we really at war? If we are, with whom are we at war? I define an act of war as a situation where we are under attack, and defending ourselves, and attacking back, retaliating. Currently we are not under attack. To say we are still under attack four years after 9-11-01 is equivalent to saying we were still at war in 1949, which we were not.

09-11-01 was one single isolated attack of which it has never been clearly demonstrated or proven who the attackers were. It seems clear that Iraq was not the country that attacked the US. It is also clear that Iraq did not possess and does not possess missiles that could make it here, jets that could make it here, or even boats that could reach our shores.

The first in a series of four

HAPPY NEW YEAR! 2006

As we begin a new year I’m wondering:

Why super jealous left radicals want to run the country?

Why super zealous right radicals hate everything?

Why is the president the only one in his family who speaks like a southerner?
(Actually I've been wondering about this for the past five years.)

If Janet Jackson is married to Jermaine Dupree?

If Mariah Carey will finally appropriately cover her body this year?

If there was a "fix" in place for Super Bowl XXXIX?

Why the NFL chose Ford Field in Detroit, Michigan as this year's venue for SuperBowl XL?
(That's Roman numeral XL for 40, not "Extra Large" or "Xtra Large". )

If the Rolling Stones, the world's oldest rock'n'roll band, will soon give a performance using geriatric walkers? (Group members combined age is more than
200 years!)

Where Terrell Owens will be playing football?

Will T.O. become a broadcaster?
(This is where the network programming development executives begin to contact me for details.)

Why we still have Paris...Hilton that is?

Is Pat Robertson really a case for not supporting "intelligent design"?

Does Kim Jong Il of North Korea deserve the title "Hyper-ventilator of the Year"?

Why few people seem to remember the words of the late Senator Daniel Moynihan
who said, "Secrecy is for losers."

If our nation is at war with the terrorists, why is the attack being made upon us civilians?

Why there aren’t more comparisons of George Walker Bush to Richard M. Nixon?